


obsessions

by Worsewo



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Humor, Insecurity, M/M, Minor Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas/Qian Kun, inexperienced yangyang, ten is a bit of an asshole
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:14:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22100035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Worsewo/pseuds/Worsewo
Summary: Yangyang has a crush on his fellow student Ten. – Who in turn is a) way out of his league and b) on a mission to win over Yangyang’s roommate Kun. It’s complicated. And confusing. And a bit painful, too.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Liu Yang Yang
Comments: 31
Kudos: 144





	1. close your eyes

There are people who have something about them that makes others think they're easy to exploit.

Maybe it's because they look different, they have a very particular posture, or maybe it's just a little detail in their face. Yangyang thinks that he might be such a person. He can recall numerous incidents in which a random person picked him out of a crowd of people to ask him for a favor. They could have asked anyone, but they'd alway pick him. Once he even let an old lady talk him into taking a bus with her to the other end of town, because she insisted she couldn't do it on her own. 

Could it be because he's so skinny? Or maybe they do it because he wears multi-colored sneakers. Someone who wears colorful shoes looks more approachable than someone with fine patent leather shoes, right? 

Yangyang wonders if one of these traits is also responsible for Ten Lee asking him about the same thing every Wednesday right after art history class.

“Hey, do you know where Kun is?”

It's another Wednesday and Yangyang doesn't even need to look up to know that the person who's asking this is Ten ( - which he does anyways because it'd be weird to not raise his head). Beautiful, popular, artsy Ten, and like usual he is approaching Yangyang's desk just to ask about his roommate Kun. 

“Uh. I don’t know?”, Yangyang says. “Maybe he’s at the library? He has an important presentation next week if I remember correctly.”

Long story short: Kun drunk made out with Ten at a party at the beginning of the semester and ever since the latter has been obsessed with getting together with Kun. – Who in turn has apparently decided that what happened at the party was a mistake and is doing everything in his power to avoid Ten. Then, about a month ago, Ten found out that Yangyang, who is attending art history class with him, is living in a shared apartment with Kun and since then hasn’t missed a chance to confront him about his roommate after class. 

“Can you call him?”

“Oh. No, I’d rather not”, Yangyang tries, but Ten stares at him and it’s scary in a very beautiful way and somehow he finds himself saying: “Okay, maybe I could do that, but just this one time", a few seconds later - because he _totally_ hasn't done that before. 

“Thank you.” Ten’s expression softens immediately, now that he got what he wanted.

With slightly shaky fingers Yangyang taps onto Kun’s contact and holds his phone close to his ear.

“Hello Yangyang”, Kun’s voice greets him after a few seconds of waiting. “Why are you calling?”

“It’s because… Uhm. Where are you?”, Yangyang stutters, nervous because Ten keeps watching him. His gaze leaps up, just to meet Ten’s expectant eyes, and he hastily looks down again.

“I’m on my way to our apartment. Why?”

“Oh. Okay”, Yangyang says. “Uhm. It’s because…”, he thinks of a possible reason, but in the end decides to just say the truth. “Ten is here and I think he wants to see you.”

For a moment Kun remains silent and Yangyang starts chewing on his lower lip, unsettled by the lack of reaction. 

“I see”, Kun finally says. “But I’m not free today.”

“Okay, yes. Good. I’ll tell him that”, Yangyang says and quickly hangs up. 

“So?”, Ten asks after Yangyang has put his phone away.

“Sorry, he is busy today”, Yangyang says and stuffs his pencil case into his backpack.

Ten doesn’t look like he's satisfied with this information and Yangyang is suddenly doubting whether he has done the right thing. Maybe he should have been more persistent in order to help Ten. On the other hand it seems wrong to submit to Ten’s wishes. Kun is his friend, not Ten. _I made the right choice_ , he tells himself, but the feeling of having missed his chance to please the other student lingers.

“What is he doing?”, Ten wants to know.

Yangyang swallows and fumbles with the zipper of his backpack.

“Honestly, I think he wants some privacy…”

Ten rolls his eyes. “We haven’t even properly talked once”, he says, clearly annoyed. “If he’d go on a date with me, he’d realize how much he’s been missing out.”

Yangyang just hums, not sure how to react. He looks down at his own slender hands and then tries to remember what Kun’s hands look like. He can’t really picture them, but he knows that they aren’t as bony as his own. Ten probably doesn’t like bony hands, he thinks and looks up again, just to realize that the other student has stopped talking.

“Oh, yeah, sure”, he stutters, even though he’s not sure what Ten said, and blushes. Ten just smiles and even though it doesn’t seem very sincere the sight leaves Yangyang a little breathless.

“I have to go now. Thanks, Yangyang”, he says and waves at him.

Yangyang weakly waves back and watches him leave. With a sigh he shoulders his backpack and sets off as well. He just wishes that Ten wasn’t so attractive with his clear skin, perfect nose and pretty eyes. Maybe that’d keep him from having a crush on a boy who clearly doesn’t care about him at all.

It’s obvious that Kun is not very pleased when Yangyang later tells him what happened.

“I really wish that he wasn’t so insistent”, Kun says. He is preparing dinner and wearing the ruched apron Yangyang gave to him as a present for his birthday. The thing looks absolutely stupid, but Yangyang thinks that it’s nice how Kun keeps wearing it despite the fact that it’s a horrendous piece of clothing. “Isn’t it obvious that I’m not interested in him?”

Yangyang doesn’t really understand how Kun is able to not develop a crush on Ten, but the older has been indifferent about the art student since Ten started hitting on him. Maybe the boy’s blatant flirting is just not his style. Kun never appears to be fazed by Ten’s longing gazes, flirty smiles and cheeky comments. He’s mostly blocking the other boy in the friendliest way possible, but recently his patience seems to slowly crumble. Yangyang can tell that he's angry right now, too, by the way he's stirring the noodles a bit too violently. 

“Maybe you can talk to Ten?”, Yangyang suggests and leans against the kitchen counter. “Like… Really talk?”

Kun sighs and stills for a moment, as if in thought.

“Yes, maybe I should. I just thought that it’s obvious that I don’t like him that way. I mean… I refused to give him my number. Isn’t that an obvious signal?”

“I don’t know”, Yangyang shrugs. He takes a curious peek at the sesame sauce that Kun has already prepared. “Ten seems to be a fighter. Like he’ll make you like him.”

Kun sighs again, this time a bit longer. He turns down the heat of the stove.

“But you should also talk back when he approaches you like that, Yangyang”, he says after a while. “He’s being rude. I don’t like how he’s treating you.”

Yangyang bites his lip and looks down at his lime green sneakers. He knows that he shouldn’t let Ten use him like that, but he can’t help it. There’s something so magnetizing about Ten’s dark eyes, something that pulls him in. - And apparently damages his brain. 

“It’s not that bad”, he replies and plasters a wide smile to his face. He’s pretty sure that it doesn’t look very convincing, though, judging by Kun’s sceptical expression. “But I’ll try next time.”

“Don’t let people like that waste your time”, Kun says.

Yangyang just nods and takes a seat at their kitchen-table in order to escape their conversation, pretending to wait for the food. He pulls out his phone and smiles at a few stupid memes his friend Guanheng sent him. After sending equally dumb memes back, he passes the time with scrolling through online shops and checking out new sneaker releases. Kun takes a peek at his phone screen and as expected scolds him for wasting so much money for expensive shoes. Yangyang - as always - ignores him. 

He puts two sneakers in his shopping cart before closing the app and helping Kun to set the table. 

Yangyang doesn’t remember when exactly he developed a crush on Ten.

He first saw the black-haired boy in art history class at the beginning of the semester. Even though they never talked, Yangyang couldn’t help but secretly look at him. He didn’t really have a crush on Ten back then, but the boy’s beauty was really fascinating to him. He was nice to look at, so Yangyang took a peek at him whenever he had the chance to.

Then, after Kun kissed Ten at the party, Ten suddenly started talking to Yangyang. At first Yangyang thought that he was being friendly and maybe even interested in making new friends. But soon Ten started to ask a lot about his roommate, Kun, and it became obvious that Ten had other aims.

Yangyang knows that he should stop being friendly to Ten since the other student is shamelessly using him. But Ten is really pretty and cool and…

Yangyang is feeling a bit lonely.

Sure, he has a few friends at university, he has Kun and there’s also Guanheng, but it’s been a while since he has dated anyone. In fact he probably never properly dated. He only had this really wet and weird kiss with a younger student in ninth grade. The boy was two years younger than him, but quite mature-looking for his age and definitely handsome. Until today Yangyang never got rid of the feeling that the boy just used him in order to check his first kiss off. After Yangyang insisted they agreed to be a “couple”, but the boy avoided him at school and rarely texted Yangyang back, so they “broke up” after two weeks.

Then, a year later, he started liking an older boy from Malaysia that participated in his dance class. The dancer flirted a lot with him and made him feel all tingly inside with his suggestive glances, but that guy flirted with everyone, and Yangyang still feels pathetic when he thinks back to the day he waited three hours at the bus stop in order to “accidently” run into the boy after practice, just to see him walk out hand in hand with another dancer.

He’s always been just that: Second choice. He is just too jittery, too energetic. People don’t like boys like him. They like calm and mature people like Kun, people with a certain aura. Not people like Yangyang who collects colourful sneakers and talks too fast.

Yangyang is nothing but a plaything for others, and it’s the same thing with Ten.

No one would ever seriously want to be with him.

Two weeks pass.

Ten keeps approaching him after class and tries to squeeze out some information about Kun and Yangyang lets him. He hates how his heart flutters whenever the other student leans a bit too close or tells him that he’s “the sweetest boy” for letting him know what Kun has been up to recently, but he cannot help it. He just wants to see Ten smile once more, only once, and before he knows it another day has passed without him asking the other boy to stop.

Apparently Kun hasn’t talked to Ten yet, or if he has it didn’t make Ten give up on his mission.

Their conversations leave Yangyang with a bittersweet feeling every time. He wants to curse at his heart that beats happily inside his chest, thriving off Ten’s attention, even though it’s clear that Ten doesn’t even think of him that way.

Everything is somewhat fine – while not being fine at all – until one day Ten says something that makes Yangyang feel like the biggest idiot on the planet.

Usually Ten is very good with his words, and they don’t have a mean feeling to them, but this time Yangyang is hurt.

It’s yet another Wednesday. Yangyang has started a little experiment on the weekend because he was bored and dyed his hair in a vibrant red. To be honest he regrets the choice of colour a little, because it’s too bright, but Guanheng keeps telling him that it looks “so bomb”, so Yangyang isn’t too insecure about it. He also got a compliment from Kun, even though his roommate looked a little shocked when he first found out about Yangyang’s new hair colour. (He looked even more shocked when he saw the dirtied tiles in their bathroom and his mood surely changed to the worse after that.)

Once again Ten leans against his desk, but this time he doesn’t immediately start asking about Kun. Instead he states: “Oh, you changed your hair colour”, and leans closer to inspect Yangyang’s hair with curious eyes. Yangyang’s heart stops when he asks: “Can I touch it?”

“Uh, sure, if you want to”, he stutters and is convinced that his face is slowly becoming the same colour as his hair when Ten softly strokes through it. Hesitantly he glances up. The other boy is so close that he could count his lashes if he wanted to. Yangyang doesn't do that, though, because first of all that would be cheesy and weird, and second of all the closeness makes him so dizzy that he forgets how to count.

“It suits you”, Ten smiles, exposing pearly white teeth. Yangyang’s heart is making stupid hopeful flips inside his chest, but then Ten crushes it all with the words: “But it’d suit Kun better, of course.”

It’s not even an insult, but it feels like one.

For the first time Yangyang gets angry. Ten probably doesn't even want to hurt him, but Yangyang has had enough. Everything is about Kun, even when it comes to his own hair. Can't he just have this one little compliment? Can't this be just once about him?

His hands tremble in rage and fear when he mumbles: “Why don’t you just shut up, asshole."

His voice is so quiet that he doesn’t even know whether Ten is able to hear it. With shaky hands he collects his stuff and stands up.

As he's storming out of the classroom he keeps his face down. Ten says something, but he doesn’t pay attention to it. 

At home he allows himself to cry a little, just a few minutes, before he wipes the tears away and distracts himself with ordering new sneakers. 

After that Ten stops bothering him. It doesn’t seem like he feels guilty, though, judging by the way he’s chatting happily with his friends. In fact he seems to be smiling even more than usual and not even once he looks in Yangyang’s direction.

His indifference makes Yangyang feel even more stupid, but what at annoys him the most is that he finds himself missing Ten’s presence after class.

It’s dumb. If it’d help he’d really like to slap himself and tell himself to snap out of it.

Maybe he has done that once, but it didn't work. 

Perhaps Kun has cleared up everything, he starts thinking. Maybe they talked everything through, so that everyone can move on with their life. Yangyang can’t possibly have scared Ten away with the childish insult me muttered. Ten is way too confident to be intimidated by his words.

“Have you talked to Ten by the way?”, Yangyang asks one day as he’s watching a Netflix series with Kun in their living room, because he can’t stop racking his brains over what made Ten renounce. 

“Sorry, Yangyang”, Kun says and pauses the series. “I didn’t have the time. Did he bother you a lot recently?”

“Not so much”, Yangyang replies, looking down at the blue pillow he placed in his lap.

Kun hums. “Let’s hope that he finally realized that I will never be interested in him.”

“Yeah”, Yangyang mutters and pulls the pillow to his chest. Shouldn’t he be happier about the turn of events? Ten is finally leaving him alone. He can move on now, forget about the other student and focus on his own life.

“Yangyang?”, Kun softly asks and looks at him from the side.

“Yes?”

Kun remains silent for a few seconds. “You like Ten, don’t you?”

Yangyang tenses and hugs the pillow even tighter. 

“Uh, no”, he stutters, fingers twitching. “Why would I? I mean. He’s really annoying and rude. I don’t like such people.”

“But he’s also very charming and attractive”, Kun adds.

“Oh, uh. Yeah, maybe, but… He’s still rude”, Yangyang says. He is sure that Kun can tell that he’s lying, but he doesn’t want to give in. He doesn’t want to let Kun know how pathetic he is, that he's still that helpless little boy everyone sees in him. “He’s just dumb; I don’t like him like that.”

Kun nods with a thoughtful expression

“You know… There are people who say that Ten is a good person”, he begins. “But personally, I don’t see it. He’s been acting like an asshole. I don’t care whether he has a fighting spirit. He shouldn’t play with your heart like that.”

“Oh, he doesn’t know-”, Yangyang starts, but quickly shuts his mouth when he realizes what he was about to say. 

“He doesn’t know that you like him?”, Kun gives him a knowing glance.

“That’s… That’s not what I wanted to say!”, Yangyang exclaims, cheeks red.

“It’s okay, Yangyang”, Kun says. “I can see why you like him.”

Yangyang feverishly thinks about how to talk his way out of this situation, but he comes to the conclusion that he has messed up and it’s no use. So he just wordlessly stares at the screen of Kun's laptop before he stands up and announces: “I need to finish that one essay. It's urgent." Without further explanation he speeds off to his room and locks the door behind himself. 

His heart is still racing when he sits down on his bed and waits for Kun to follow him, but his roommate doesn't. 

This time even scrolling through online shops can't distract him from thinking about Ten and Kun and everything that has happened, so in the end he decides to actually work on his essay. 

He only types about two words, though, before closing the document and checking his social media accounts.

(Maybe he spends his afternoon with stalking Ten's accounts.)


	2. and kiss me

A few days pass.

Yangyang doesn’t really talk to Kun, especially not about Ten. Instead he pretends that they’ve never touched on the topic of his crush on the pretty art-student. Kun on the other hand doesn’t ask about it either, even though he sometimes looks at Yangyang with a concerned expression. It’s a weird situation.

Nothing very eventful happens - besides the fact that Yangyang purchases a real cool pair of sneakers second hand - until Guanheng calls him on Friday and tries to convince him to go out together. 

“Please!!! There’s this girl I really like and she invited me to a party. Please come with me, I can’t show up alone. Please, please, please?”

Yangyang rolls his eyes as his friend’s begging.

“You’re still such a child”, he replies, phone squeezed between his cheek and shoulder, as he opens up a bag of chips and settles in front of his laptop. 

“Says the five year old!!”

“I’m older than five.”

“Uhu, sure.”

“So what kind of party is it?”

“I don’t know? A house party? Something like that?”

"Do you at least know where it is?"

"Yes! It’s not too far. Maybe twenty minutes if we go by bus?"

Eventually Yangyang agrees. He thinks that it might be a good idea to leave his apartment for once. Maybe he’s also escaping another awkward evening with Kun.

After finishing his series he puts on his new sneakers and searches for the dark shirt that he always wears when he goes out.

Then he leaves the apartment.

He expects a small event, but when they arrive at the location it’s clear that this is anything but a small party. The house is huge, similar to the guy who opens the door, some extraordinarily handsome kid called Lucas. Apparently he’s the host of this party, at least that would explain why he pulls them into a hug and thanks them for coming. Yangyang finds the procedure very uncomfortable because his face is pressed into a sweaty armpit, but besides that everything is fine.

It’s fine until they step into the living room and Yangyang sees Taeyong, a Korean exchange student who always sits next to Ten in art history class. This is not a good sign. This is a scary party. If Taeyong is here then Ten might be as well. Yangyang tries to stay by Guanheng's side, but his friend soon shakes him off because he wants to have some alone time with the girl he likes, so in the end Yangyang is left alone. He glances around, hoping to discover a familiar face. 

“Hey, sweetie", someone says from behind him. 

Yangyang recognizes the voice immediately and it makes his heart stutter in fear. He turns around as expected there is Ten, dressed in a see-through blouse and tight-fitting jeans. He looks stunning and Yangyang cannot help but stare at him for a moment before he stutters: “Oh, uh, Kun is not here.” He must have really turned into a brainwashed idiot, considering that his first thought is “Kun” when he sees Ten’s face.

Ten doesn’t say anything at that, but probably thinks the same. Instead he keeps looking at Yangyang. Yangyang on the other hand nervously sips at his beer. _Maybe he’s mad at me_ , he thinks, and shuffles around, uncomfortable.

“Uhm. But I guess you can have a lot of fun without him? Kun is no fun to be around anyways. He usually stays sober in order to take care of others, except maybe that one time when the two of you-”, he continues, but doesn’t get to finish his sentence.

“Where’s your company?”, Ten interrupts him and cocks his head to the side.

“Uhm… I don’t know? I talked to Guanheng a few minutes ago, but there was a girl he really likes, so…”

“Then now I’m your company”, Ten proclaims, once again interrupting him. 

Yangyang isn’t sure whether he is okay with that. There’s a weird gleam in Ten’s eyes, something that Yangyang has never seen before. He wonders if it’s something like supressed anger. Maybe Ten wants to lure him outside and slap him in the face. He grasps his cup tighter, but then thinks that Ten doesn’t look like the violent type. He might rather be a person who destroys his enemies with hurtful words. That sounds even scarier, Yangyang thinks.

“So… Should I call Kun?”, he says. He wants to sound confident, maybe a bit rude, but it comes out too serious and now Ten must definitely think that he has some kind of slave-persona.

“Not everything is about Kun”, Ten says, voice a little softer.

“Really?”, Yangyang snorts and looks away. 

To his surprise Ten chuckles at his reply.

“I didn’t know that you could be so cheeky”, he says and lightly nudges Yangyang with his elbow. He seems to be very amused by the situation. “You seemed so sweet in class.”

“I’m not sweet”, Yangyang mutters, avoiding eye-contact. He just can’t handle looking into Ten’s gorgeous eyes, especially not when the boy’s gaze seems to be so _flirty_. – No, it’s suppressed _anger_ , Yangyang stubbornly tells himself.

“Oh no, you are. You seemed like such an innocent boy, baby”, Ten continues. Yangyang doesn’t choke on his own saliva when he hears the word “baby”. He doesn’t choke at all. “Like you’d do anything for me just because I asked so nicely.”

And here it is, presented on a silver plate: Ten really is an asshole. His pretty face seems to say otherwise, but Yangyang doesn’t let himself be fooled by it any longer.

“Whatever”, he mutters, a little hurt in his pride, and turns away. “I’m going to find Guanheng…”

He is about to leave, but Ten stops him by grabbing his arm. 

“You know, I’m sorry”, he hears the other student say and Yangyang is surprised at how serious he sounds. “I’m just looking for someone to spend a fun night with.”

Slowly Yangyang turns around. Ten must be joking.

“Aren’t there plenty of other people who are more than willing to spend time with you?”, he says and studies the Ten's serious face. He doesn’t know where his confidence is coming from, maybe it’s due to the fact that Ten sounded so vulnerable for a second. 

“Like who, for example?”, Ten asks and cocks his head to the side.

“Like…”, Yangyang scrunches his eyebrows in thought. “Like… that Korean exchange student you’re sitting next to in class. Taeyong. I’ve seen him in the living room. Or Sicheng. You also talk to him a lot…”

“They’re boring”, Ten cuts him off. There’s a small smile playing on his lips again, but Yangyang doesn’t understand how this situation is amusing.

“If they’re boring then I’m super-boring”, he says.

“Why?”, Ten wants to know.

“Because I’m…”, Yangyang tries to find the right words. “I just don’t live a very exciting life.”

“That explanation doesn’t convince me”, Ten says and raises his eyebrows, like he wants to challenge Yangyang. 

"Can't you bother someone else?", Yangyang asks.

“No”, Ten says, expression unchanging.

They stare at each other for what feels minutes and Yangyang feels like he’s making a very dumb decision when he finally nods. He doesn’t really know why he agrees to spending time with someone who enjoys hurting him. Maybe he really is brainwashed.

“Fine”, he mumbles and lets Ten pull him with him to the living room where music is playing from a big sound system.

Yangyang knows that Ten is good at dancing, he has seen it with his own eyes before, but it’s even more beautiful to see the other boy from that close up. He himself enjoys dancing as well, but he doesn’t think that he looks nearly as elegant as Ten. Guanheng has told him before that he tends to look like an excited little child that just bounces around. He must be somewhat right, Yangyang thinks, when Ten asks: “This is how you dance?”, watching him with a cheeky grin.

“Got a problem with that?”, Yangyang replies. He wonders where his nervousness went, but suddenly it seems to be so easy to talk back at Ten. Maybe it’s because of the alcohol.

“No”, Ten says, eyes twinkling. “You look cute.”

“I don’t-”, he stops when suddenly Ten leans closer.

“And maybe a little bit sexy”, the black haired boy whispers into his ear, and hooks his fingers in the collar of his shirt. Guanheng has opened more buttons than Yangyang would have liked before they’ve entered the house. “I like that thing on you.”

Yangyang can feel his face grow warm. Is this really happening? Is Ten, one of the prettiest boys he has ever seen, flirting with him? Yangyang just stands there, frozen and confused as Ten smiles at him. The moment goes on about forever, a stupid pop song playing in the background that Yangyang never really liked. His gaze drops to Ten’s lips and he thinks about stealing a kiss, just one really dumb kiss that is going hurt like hell afterwards, but he doesn’t get to finish the thought when a hand is placed on his shoulder that softly pulls him away from Ten. It’s Kun’s.

“What the hell are you doing here”, is the first thought that comes to Yangyang’s mind when he sees his roommate's face. He says it out loud.

“Lucas invited me”, Kun answers. His gaze flickers to Ten for a second who has let go of Yangyang’s shirt. 

“Who is Lucas”, Yangyang starts, but then remembers the sweaty armpit, and says: “Oh. Okay. You know him?”

“I’m his tutor”, Kun replies.

“Sounds kinky”, Yangyang says, then realizes what has come out of his mouth and stutters: “I mean: sounds nice.”

Kun frowns at him before looking at Ten and asking: “And what are you guys up to?”

“Just some friendly touching”, Ten replies and demonstratively holds up both hands. “So you like Lucas?”

Kun blushes and shakes his head, but Yangyang is pretty sure that something is up. Kun has never told him that he’s tutoring anyone and besides that he doesn’t go to parties. - At least not if there’s no one who is forcing him.

“I’m his tutor”, Kun repeats, like that would explain why he's at this party. 

“Aww”, Ten says and places a hand on his shoulder. Yangyang can clearly see how his pale fingers graze the exposed skin of Kun’s nape, and he presses his lips together, jealous. “But Lucas is so handsome. Is this why you don’t want to date me? Because a younger student seduced you during one of your study sessions?”, Ten asks and leans a bit closer than necessary.

Kun’s face becomes redder and redder with every word that leaves Ten’s lips.

"It's not like that", he says and tries to shrug Ten's hand off. 

Yangyang just stands there, feeling left out. His gaze flickers between Ten and Kun. They look good next to each other. Kun has a nice body and a handsome face and is about the same height as Ten. Yangyang is just very skinny. He would make Ten look bad. Ten deserves someone better than him.

He knows that he’s thinking nonsense; that he’s being mean to himself and that Kun would scold him for thinking something like this, but right now he is in a black hole and doesn’t know how to get out. It doesn’t help that Ten whispers something into Kun’s ear before leaning back and laughing at the other’s sour expression.

“I’m going home”, he says a little too loud.

He turns around before the other two can react and storms out of Lucas’ house.

He stays up until about 4 am, sitting on his bed and feeling dumb.

He unlocks his phone and just stares at it, not knowing what to do with it before dropping it onto his blanket. He realizes that until today he doesn’t have Ten’s phone number. It’s so obvious: Ten has never even been the slightest interested in him. He’d rather bother him after class in person than give him his number.

Guanheng texts him eventually, asking where he is. _At home_ , Yangyang replies before putting his phone aside.

Ten was probably bored and it seemed fun to tease him a little. That was what he meant with “a fun night”. Nothing else.

Yangyang’s lip is sore from biting down on it so many times and he sinks back into his pillow, feeling hollow inside.

“Just move on”, he mutters to himself and pushes the pillow to his face.

Maybe it is an attempt to suffocate himself.

He has a stupid dream.

Ten is in it, of course, nestled in bright bedsheets. He pulls Yangyang down to him, so that their noses are almost touching. “I don’t like you”, Ten whispers against his lips before he kisses him and Yangyang lets him, will forever let him hurt him because he is a helpless boy who doesn’t know how to move on.

He wakes up feeling like shit.

When he checks his phone for the time and it says 1pm, he groans and pulls the blanket back over his head. For a while he just lies there and thinks about what happened last night.

He seriously toys with the idea of withdrawing from art history class, so that he never has to see Ten again.

(He also thinks about moving out, but then decides that that would be a bit too dramatic.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i decided to split this story into 3 parts!  
> idk whether that is a good idea, because by now i feel like i lost all my english skills. i think i have the most problems with the placement of adverbs, so i am sorry if they're all over the place .. 
> 
> besides that i hope that you enjoyed the 2nd part! thank you for all your comments and kudos~
> 
> [My twitter](https://twitter.com/lorbeerleafs)


	3. then tell me

The next day Yangyang doesn’t leave his bed until 3pm, and he would have stayed like this for the rest of the day, wouldn’t Kun have entered his room a few minutes later. Yangyang pretends that he doesn’t see him and stares at the ceiling instead, but that doesn’t keep Kun from sitting down on his bed.

For a while the older student just sits there without saying anything and it unnerves Yangyang. It gets even weirder, though, when Kun suddenly hugs him. He’s still not talking, so Yangyang feels like he should break the stifling silence.

“I’m not sad, okay?”, he lies.

Kun just squeezes him tighter.

“Uhm. This hurts a little”, Yangyang croaks and attempts to wriggle himself out of the other’s embrace.

“You need to talk to Ten, okay?”, Kun finally says and lets go. Yangyang quickly crawls backwards on his bed. 

“You know, I told you the same thing a few weeks ago and you never listened to me”, Yangyang says.

“It’s just… I’d rather you stay away from him, but…”, Kun sighs and shakes his head. “He doesn’t seem like such a bad person. He seemed worried after you left.”

Yangyang waits for him to continue, but Kun remains silent.

“Have you finally talked to him or what?”, Yangyang asks.

“Yeah… He was surprisingly willing to compromise”, Kun says and smiles a little. It’s weird. Kun never smiles when he is talking about Ten. Yangyang’s gaze halts at a dark spot on Kun’s neck. – A dark spot that looks a lot like a hickey.

“I see”, he says, eyes boring into the bruise. Kun continues to talk about how people change and how sometimes you misjudge others. Yangyang doesn’t really pay attention. He feels like an idiot.

“Please call him, okay?”, Kun closes his monologue and looks at Yangyang with a serious expression. He obviously doesn't know that Yangyang doesn't even have Ten's number. 

“I don’t know. I’m over him”, Yangyang says. He thinks about adding something like: ‘You can have him’, but that sounds too cliché in his head, so he keeps his mouth shut. “I need to be alone for a while, okay?”, he adds and falls back onto his bed. He just wants Kun to leave. He can’t bear looking at that stupid hickey any longer. 

Kun sighs, obviously unwilling to leave Yangyang alone, but then nods. “Alright. But don’t forget to eat, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks.”

Kun gets up from his bed and walks to the door. For a second Yangyang thinks about stopping him and just asking about the hickey, but then decides against it. Instead he continues staring at the ceiling and keeps overthinking after Kun has shut the door. Did Kun really hook up with Ten? But how? Did Ten change his entire personality? And if they hooked up: Why would Kun want him to talk to Ten then? 

Yangyang shakes his head and lets out a sigh. The puzzle pieces don’t fit together at all.

For a few days Yangyang keeps to himself. He spends a lot of time in his room playing random games on his phone and preparing assignments for uni. Besides that he tries to avoid Kun. It’s surprisingly easy, because somehow the older doesn’t spend a lot of time at their apartment recently. Yangyang’s heart clenches a little when he thinks that the reason for Kun’s absence might be Ten, but it’s okay. He’ll get over it eventually.

Since staying at the apartment feels a little lonely, he spends time at Guanheng's place. His friend seems to be a bit down as well because the girl he liked ditched him because of another guy. They mostly hang out in the common room of Guanheng's dorm since his friend shares his room with five other boys and it’s quite cramped in there.

The majority of time they don’t talk at all and just scroll through their social media. Yangyang is trying to get Ten out of his mind, he really is, but sometimes he can’t help but stalk Ten’s accounts. It’s for research, okay? It can’t hurt too much, right? – Until Yangyang one day accidently likes one of Ten’s recent posts (of course it’s a pic that shows Ten shirtless) and throws his phone away with a loud screech.

“Huh?”, Guanheng looks up from his own phone with a puzzled expression. “What happened?”

Before Yangyang has the chance to pick his phone up from the couch, Guanheng grabs it. “What happened?”, he repeats and looks at Ten’s profile. “Oh, you don’t follow Ten? I thought you were friends?”

“No, we aren’t!”, Yangyang yells and tries to get his phone back.

“But I saw the two of you talk at Lucas’ party!”, Guanheng grins and wiggles his eyebrows, keeping Yangyang’s phone pressed to his chest.

“Yeah, but… No, we didn’t talk”, Yangyang says and pulls at Guanheng's arm.

“But I clearly saw it!”, Guanheng insists.

Yangyang glares at his friend and digs his fingers into the other’s arm. Guanheng makes a face, but doesn’t let go of the phone.

“Give it back to me!”

“Tell me what your relationship with Ten is first”, Guanheng says.

“There’s nothing”, he tells the other.

“Really?”

“Yeah”, Yangyang says, annoyed. “He just sees me as his little pet.”

“Oh, you have _that_ kind of relationship…?!”, Guanheng asks. “I didn’t think you’d be into that BDSM kind of thing.”

Yangyang slaps his friend, hard.

“No, there’s no relationship _at all_ ”, he says. “Ten likes Kun, and he uses me to get closer to him.”

“Oh”, Guanheng says and his expression softens. “So Ten was being mean to you?”

“Kind of, I guess.”

“Then why are you stalking him on Instagram?”

“Is it really that important? You stalk people’s social media all the time.”

“Just tell me”, Guanheng says.

“I just want to forget him”, Yangyang sighs. “We’re too different anyways. He’s like a super hot dude and I am a virgin-loser.”

“How does stalking him and wanting to forget him fit together?”, Guanheng asks with a frown.

“They don’t, I know. I’m working on it. Can you please give my phone back now?”, Yangyang says and leans forward. Of course Guanheng doesn’t comply. Instead he glances at Yangyang’s screen and grins.

“What?”, Yangyang wants to know.

“Tenlee_1001 liked your post”, Guanheng reads out loud and chuckles. “Congratulations.”

“He didn’t”, Yangyang says and stands up to see if it’s true. Thankfully Guanheng lets him look at the screen and he’s right, Ten really liked one of his pictures. “Which one?”, Yangyang asks and tries to tap on the screen, but Guanheng slaps his hand away.

Guanheng opens the notification. It’s an upload from a few weeks ago when Yangyang had posted a selfie with his new hair colour. Yangyang cringes a little at the caption he wrote back then: _“Isn’t this too much? Do I look crazy?”_

“He must have scrolled through your profile and picked this one”, Guanheng says and finally hands him his phone.

“He just wants to tease me. He even said the colour would suit Kun better”, Yangyang replies and sits down again. “He only cares about Kun.”

He wants to sound tough, like he has psyched Ten and is in control of the situation, but in the end he keeps staring at his phone in anticipation. Nothing happens. Ten doesn’t follow or message him.

“You should follow him”, Guanheng suggests.

Yangyang looks at his friend like he has lost his mind. “Uhm, no?!”

Guanheng shrugs. “Then block him.”

Yangyang opens his mouth to protest, but closes it again. Why would he want to object? Blocking Ten is honestly not the worst idea. “Wouldn’t that be too much?”, he mutters and taps on Ten’s username to look at his flawless uploads one last time. 

Guanheng doesn’t reply, and Yangyang closes Instagram again.

“Maybe you should tell him that you like him”, Guanheng says in a quiet voice while typing something. 

Yangyang pretends that he didn’t hear his friend.

Yangyang gets better. There’s this series he really likes and he develops a small crush on the leading role. He also downloads Tinder, but comes to the conclusion that the men on Tinder aren’t very attractive. Maybe his standards are too high because of Ten. Speaking of the devil: He manages to avoid Ten for a week (he skips his art history class), but he can’t neglect his studies forever. Eventually he starts to attend art history class again. He can feel Ten watching him various times, but he doesn’t turn around and for once takes a lot of notes.

It’s another Wednesday, and there are are thirty minutes left until the end of the lesson, when suddenly the student who is sitting next to him softly nudges his arm. Yangyang looks at the girl with a confused expression, but she just shrugs and hands him a small piece of paper. ‘It’s for you’, she mouths, so Yangyang takes the paper with a frown and unfolds it.

 _Are you sulking?_ , is written in neat letters on it. Yangyang doesn’t have to turn around to know that it’s from Ten. 

_Do you have the mentality of a high school student?_ , Yanyang scribbles onto the piece of paper before handing it back. Who still writes notes these days?

 _Are you sulking or not??,_ comes back.

Yangyang turns the paper between his fingers. Why is Ten so persistent about talking to him? Has Kun told him that he likes him? Does he pity him now? After staring at the paper for a little longer, he decides to not answer and instead screws it up between his fingers. He has been Ten’s plaything for long enough.

But of course this conversation isn’t over by just destroying the note. After class Yangyang isn’t fast enough to pack up his things, and Ten manages to head him off.

"Hey“, the dark haired student greets him and leans over his desk.

“Hi”, Yangyang replies and briefly raises his head.

“I wanted to apologize.”

“What for?”

“For being mean”, Ten answers and tilts his head to the side like he’s anticipating a certain reaction.

Yangyang tears his eyes from his desk and stands up. “It’s okay. But maybe you could stop bothering me after class? That would be helpful”, he says and shoulders his backpack.

“Are you free later?”, Ten asks. 

It feels like something inside Yangyang trembles and for a second he wants to be weak and say ‘yes’.

“I’m not free”, he replies and walks past Ten.

Unfortunately it’s not that easy to shake Ten off. “Oh, please Yangyang. Please, please, let’s just talk?”, the older boy pleads and hurries after him.

At first Yangyang presses his lips together and refuses to answer, but Ten just doesn’t stop pleading for his attention. A few students are already staring at them, but Ten doesn’t seem to be bothered by that. It unsettles Yangyang, though, and in the end he agrees because he wants to put an end to this embarrassment. “Okay, alright. We’ll meet up somewhere”, he groans.

“Are you free now?”

“What- why”, Yangyang stutters and tightens the grip around the strap of his backpack, still not looking at Ten.

“I’m scared that you won’t show up, so let’s talk now, alright?”, Ten explains.

Yangyang doesn’t really know how to react to Ten’s honesty. “O-okay, but I don’t have much time”, he says.

“Great! Let me take you to my favourite place on campus”, Ten beams.

Ten’s favourite place turns out to be an artsy coffee shop. Yangyang never comes here because he’s not really the coffee shop kind of guy, but Ten seems to be. Yangyang wants to protest when the older student pays both of their drinks at the counter, but Ten pretends he can’t hear him. The cashier chuckles while she’s preparing their drinks, and Yangyang is close to leaving. Did Ten just bring him here to embarrass him in public?

“So…”, Ten begins when they’ve found a free table and taken a seat. “I wanted to say sorry.”

“Yeah, you mentioned something like that”, Yangyang says and nips at his iced tea which turns out to be quite sweet. He should have asked for less sugar.

“Yes, but it seemed like you didn’t really take me serious.”

Yangyang sighs and looks out of the window. It’s a sunny, coudless day and group of girls with colourful umbrellas is crossing the street.

“I just thought that it’s probably just a game for you”, he says. “Like always.”

“You’re probably right, it was a bit of a game for me”, Ten admits and rests his elbows on the table. “I thought… I didn’t know that it bothered you that much. I mean, I know that I was annoying. But sometimes you smiled or laughed. I thought that it was not a serious problem.”

“It’s just… It was annoying”, Yangyang says and turns to look at his drink, so that he doesn’t have to look at Ten. He’s worried that his eyes might betray him and show that he was more than just “annoyed”.

“Then now it’s your turn to be mean”, Ten says and nudges him with his foot under the table. “Come on, make fun of me.”

Yangyang snorts and looks up. “You…”, he thinks about what to reply. He kind of wants to refuse and say that that’s a stupid idea, but then he ends up saying: “You look like a cat.” – Which is even more of a stupid idea.

“Oh”, Ten smiles and leans a bit closer. “That was _so_ mean”, he murmurs and Yangyang really doesn’t want to blush, but it’s not like that is something he can control.

“It’s just… The mood isn’t right for saying mean things”, he tries to explain. Ten just keeps smiling at him and Yangyang is sure that he does it to make him feel uncomfortable. 

“Stop that, you look like you’ve gone crazy or something”, Yangyang mutters and busies himself with his iced tea again.

“That’s way better”, Ten grins. “Continue.”

“Oh my god, you’re so dumb”, Yangyang says because he doesn’t want to keep up with this “challenge”. When Ten laughs even louder he realizes that he has insulted the other once again without having noticed.

After a while Yangyang finds himself laughing as well.

“By the way, your shoes are really nice”, Ten comments and points at Yangyang’s shoes.

“Thank you. I collect rare editions.”

“You know, Taeyong likes to draw on stuff, and recently he doodled something on my sneakers.”

“I won’t let some random guy draw on my shoes”, Yangyang says.

“Understandable”, Ten grins. “It actually looks quite messy after you’ve walked through the rain. My poor shoes.” 

Yangyang would have never thought that he'd ever spend an entire afternoon with Ten. They have a great time and Yangyang even agrees to order another drink, so that they can stay a little longer. It’s nice. He feels like he hasn’t laughed as much as today in a long time.

When they leave the shop Ten asks him for his number. The question catches Yangyang by surprise, and he feels stupid for getting excited over it. He prays that Ten doesn’t notice how he starts stuttering, and after they've seen each other off, he scolds himself for acting this stupid. _This is not about me_ , he tells himself as he's walking to the bus stop. _Ten likes Kun and that’s okay because we can be friends!_ Just friends.

He tries to convince himself that the butterflies inside his tummy don’t mean anything at all. They’re just friendly butterflies, friendship-butterflies, not romantic at all. He's over Ten. 

Everything is fine again. Perfectly fine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry that this took so much time! this story will consist of 4 parts, so another chapter will follow. i hope that you enjoyed this chapter despite my not-perfect english. like always i need to check this again for mistakes since there are probably plenty. :<

**Author's Note:**

> this fic got more angsty than i would have liked it to be... but i wanted to upload it since there are not a lot of tenyang fics out there ~
> 
> i've started this work in november and i think i've worked on it for too long which is why it lost its charm to me. but maybe you like it!  
> the second part is almost finished, so i hope that it won't take too long until it is uploaded :3  
> (as always i'm insecure about my english and will read over this fic a hundred times - and hopefully correct every mistake i made.)
> 
> [My twitter](https://twitter.com/lorbeerleafs)


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